I've interview 35 year old Denise owner of Curl Care Spa whom I values tremendensly. The care and attention she has dedicated for her field and cliente is out of this world. She is a well known and respected figure in the natural hair industry and her teachings have led many young entrepreneurs to start their own businesses.

 I've asked her to shared some of the challenges regarding financial journey. We talked about how her trauma affected her ability to manage her financial life. This beautiful interview turned out to be a financial therapy session and highlighted the need for deep introspection when it comes to our limiting beliefs and trauma that is separating us from living a life of abundance.

Answer: Before it was, my plan for the future is very scary. And before that, it was that I was a bad financial planner. I'm just like, how am I supposed to do all of this and work? Paycheck to paycheck? Like, I don't see that happening, which scared me and also demotivated me. But then therapy.

Answer: Finances bothered me alot. But then therapy. I was just like, I needed therapy. The pandemic brought financial confusion but that only lasted the first month of the pandemic because I was not working. And so I had time to think. And once I had time to think, my next proactivity is writing it down what I'm thinking. So it's out of my head. Once it was out of my head, I knew I needed to talk to somebody and then talk to myself more. So I started journaling, meditating therapy. And then I was just like, okay, so finances bother you. And finances bother you a lot. Like, you are uncomfortable a lot, and you cannot bring this into your next relationship, so you might as well deal with it. Then the creditor had folded. They're just like, your MBNA account doesn't exist. It's going to collections. And so I'm just like, this is perfect. So found a way to pay back within a certain amount of time. Okay, so what's going to happen after that? Oh, well, then look at Quebec. Do you really want to stay in Quebec? Does Quebec have everything that you need? Everything that you want if you're going to raise a child?

Like, I can't afford to live here. Winter is a tax. How do you get rid of some of those taxes and move where it's euros? So the dollar is better, you have more value. And then once I made the plan, now I sleep.

3. What are they angry about? Who are they angry at?

Answer: So I could say that I was angry at myself for staying in a position that was so uncomfortable for so long and then project blame onto my business that only has given me my joy in life, my purpose. Projecting it on staff that are not trained, as skilled or a business owner like I am. Like, why are you blaming people who don't have anything for themselves? I was just projecting a lot. Staying away from my best friend who knows me, like closing eyes, like, spending more time by myself. Why would I do that? Everything that is not me. Why would I do that? Because I was projecting this self hate. Because I put myself in this position. And when I realized that through journaling and therapy, it was easy to stop doing that, it's just like, oh, you need to see your friends twice a week. You need touch. You need to invest in a therapist. A massage therapist. Muscle therapist. You need to fix your back. If your back is hurting, you're going to think negative thoughts. Those negative thoughts will go anywhere. And then you'll want to spend time alone or want to sleep when you're not should be working on your life.

It's a lot of things why I was upset. I was in pain all the time. My hands were in pain, my knees were in pain, my back was in pain. My hair was falling out. Relationships that I thought were genuine broken up.

I was so sorry about that. Nothing was working. And I wasn't very communicative about finances either. With these men, how is it supposed to be something serious and you're not communicating finances?

So not being able to talk about finances led me to not being able to be with people I thought I was supposed to be with for the rest of my life, which created blockages. And then, yeah, that's why I was upset, I think globally.

Answer: Always having emergencies every two months is emergency. Like for my health. Having to go private, spending $400, Bam, gone for consultation, and look me for 15 minutes and send me to go to other places to go get help. That's a financial frustration. Or my friends being in the same situation, but making way less than I am and being depressed about it and me being the friend that I am I would be like... Okay, I'm taking you away from wherever you are, and you're going to have a week off from all of this mess where you could just be yourself and work and be in a very comfortable living space. That's what I could do for you as your friend. I'm not going to let you just be depressed at home or paying most of vacations paying. If she has a project for Shea butter, I'm going to pay for the Shea butter. I'll make an account with her. I'll be putting money in. She's the only one using me. Yeah, I don't want that to develop into frustration. But if it continues, it will develop into a frustration because I already make more.

It's either I make way more or I find strategies beyond that to save money. Yeah, like not being able to save. I've been working ten years. Six of those years was salary. So it's making a quarter of what I was making when I was self employed, which really brought my morale down and didn't make me want to work as hard.

Even though I was still working so hard, I was not seeing that reflected in my paycheck. Okay, so being an employee definitely demotivated me. Created a majority of the frustrations because I was just like, I'm working so damn much. How am I not reaping the benefits after that? Still not having the tools until the pandemic to save when I was making 10k a month and now I know it's going to be way more because those are my projections and that's how much I'm charging.

So if I'm not able to save with $10,000 I cannot save with $30,000 the expenses will become more. I would like to help more and just my person of wanting to be a support system for my friends is going to get out of hand.

I always said I don't want to do what my dad did with money which would be very bad with money. I remember even in therapy remembering... My mom dying. And when she was dying, she got a part time job, and she gave me all of her money, all of it to go to Europe. Right. I raise money myself. Bills as well. And I was working. My dad took my money, and he said that I have to pay bills. Right. That destroyed me. Like, any confidence I had in men, any confidence I had that, like, money could be a security or just taken away from me anyway. So you might as well give it up. It's either you spend it or someone steals it. And in therapy, I learned that that's where all my fair finances comes from. It comes from him. No, not him, but his action. That's what replays in my head. That's what's in my DNA. That memory. And then not being able to shake it when I'm successful. Right. And I don't feel like it. I have a goal set, but I have to have tools. And I don't know the tools, which also makes me frustrated because. I did take the mutual funds exam. I did take financial courses. I did read books on finances. I know this. And I still didn't do anything about it because I didn't seek therapy. About things that were really bothering me deeply until the pandemic.

Answer: Well because I'll be very self employed under my own company. Each month will vary. I could make $50,000. I could make half a million. I could make $30. It all depends on me. So that is the trend.

I will become pregnant. No one else is going to work. And that's why I wanted to invest in my assistant, my virtual assistant. So I have an employee. A steady employee.

I deal with all of the 20,000 clients. And so I know how to bring people in. Do I know how to keep those people and keep track of them and build systems in order to make things happen?

The day before you messaged me for this interview my friend was like, you need to find someone that knows money. She's just like, it's going to be very important because you're going to be making a lot of money. And then I Journal the next day and then then you showed up, those are the trends. Those are the scary trends!!!!

Answer: I want to live my whole life happiness over everything. And happiness includes financial stability. I don't even want to just be stable. I want to thrive in abundance and be able to have such an impact that will live on beyond kids. Yeah. My kids will be fine. It's beyond generation, people, planet. That kind of scale. I want to be a black female Elon Musk.

Answer: You know me. It's just like, I tell the universe something, and the answer comes in form of a person human thing. I try to project what I want, and then it happens to me. I rarely feel in control, except in my field where I know based on analytics, this is this because this is that. And it boggles people's minds. But I'm just like, that is facts. If it was a theory, then I would not say it until it was fact. So I'm really good at what I do. I just do that, and then it makes sense, and then I project what I want, and then it happens. And then I'm like, well, it happened because I projected it, not because I made every decision, like, every goal that I had to get to a certain thing. I just project. And then the goals that I need to do come to me, and then I just plan it out and do it. But I'm a progenerator. So I have all the ideas. Yeah. And then. Well, everything happens. I'm an Alpha generator for generator. So I will do all the work, and then other people will take that work and then go ahead with it. I don't know how to explain it.

And since journaling, things have been just happening so fast. Then I was just like stopped journaling. I stopped writing in my Journal because things were happening too fast. And it was giving me like, heart palpitations. I was just like, this is too much. And then I would just say things out loud and then it would happen anyway. So now I'm hiring people because I can't keep up with the demand of what is necessary and because I'm a progenerator. I shouldn't be working this much. And that's why I'm drained and tired and exhausted, because I really should only be working 4 hours a day. But I'm an Alpha.

Answer: So seven years ago, I decided that my hands were going to be very valuable. So I took a policy of $500,000 on my hands and started paying monthly insurance Johann. So she really didn't have to convince me of it. I'm like, I need to insure my hands, because if something ever happens to my hands, I'm going to need this to pay me. So I did that. So she didn't have to convince me, but she wanted, obviously, to convince me to pull up more insurance policies. Right. I was just like, I don't think I would need this.

Answer: With Primerica. So I was like, I'm really interested in the education. So I stayed with them to the point of getting the education to pass the test. And I don't want to do this at all. Not staying with them. Then that ended went back to the same things. Didn't use any of their techniques, like get $10,000 and pay down a portion of the debt and then move. Once that's done, you get money.

So I didn't do that.

And then other people would come like I'm trying to build my clientele. I'm trying to deal with people 100K and more. And just like, I'm not there, but I should be kind of there because I make 10,000 a month. And I was just like, maybe I know clients that are already doing that, and so that will be able to help you. They're like, well, I really want to work with you. I'm just not there. So I can't help you and now I'm here.

Yeah. This is like multiple times. This has come up multiple times. But now that I have a different mindset, I am not angry at everybody. I'm more accountable to myself. I'm paying down debt that was there since College. I'm ready.

And I was upset. I was very upset. I was in pain not engaging with my pain. I didn't want to feel it. It was there, but I would go on long vacations and be happy again and then come back to the same shit. Yeah. So it's just like you're ready when you're ready to give up some of your pride. Some of your trauma out everything. Everything. Let it go. Let it expose. Let it get air.